I Fucking love Ryan so Damn much. Why are you in Kentucky? Why am I here? GET OVER HERE NOW PLEASE I miss you :/
In about 5 hours I’m leaving to go back to Florida. It’s a 15 hour ride back, and I’m not looking forward to it at ALL. I’ve been with my love for 3 whole amazing weeks, and being without him is going to be though. Right now I’m okay, but I know that as soon as I set out to leave, I’m going to be a wreck. This stuff doesn’t hit me until the last minute. One positive that is coming out of leaving is that I get to bring back with me a new puppy that Ryan’s uncle gave me. Other than that, I’m feeling like shit. It’s going to take all I have in me to walk out that door in a few hours. I don’t know how I’ll sleep, when I’m so used to laying next to him. I can’t imagine waking up to anything besides his lovely face kisses. I don’t know who I will go to when I’m scared of something stupid, who I’ll tell all my crazy thoughts to when I think them. I don’t how I can go months without a warm embrace, a kiss on the forehead, and someone who will look in my eyes with a smile, and call me beautiful.
I know it’s not the worst thing that could happen, but this feeling of part of you missing every second of the day is nearly heartbreaking. I know we can get through this, and I’ll see him again but the pain that I’ll go through is terrible. I really wouldn’t wish this on anyone. And if by chance, any of you know what I’m going through, I want to say that I am so sorry. To have the person you love what might as well be a million miles away from you is a horrible form of torture.
But my love for him will win in the end. One day there won’t be anything to separate us babe. And until then, my heart and mind resides in Kentucky. Counting down the days until I get to be in your arms again.
I love waking up in your bed. I love seeing your face. I love being able to eat breafast together. I love meeting your family. I love seeing you laugh. I love us cuddling. I love making crafts with you. I love joking around with your sister. I love kissing your whenever I feel like it. I love seeing your baby pictures. I love personal talks with you mom. I love tickling you to death. I love hearing cheesy pick-up lines. I love laying out and looking at the stars. I love watching mtv and comedy central. I love you beating me horribly at call of duty. I love watching scary movies. I love eating ever meal together. I love going on dates. I love helping cook you supper. I love playing volleyball with your whole family. I love going on walks. I love cuddling. I love being ablle to make you smile, and see it. I love the petty arguments about nothing. I love being able to say “see you in the morning”. I love holding your hand. I love taking silly pictures. I love the funny stories you tell me. I love the sound of your heart beating against your chest. I love being out in the country with no service. I love seeing where you grew up and went to school. I love hearing the words “I’ve heard so much about you” and “It’s nice to finally meet you”. I love every second we get to spend together. But most of all I just really love you.